1. The Ignoramus' Elegy

In me, the all-forsaken living part of eternity!

The unscattered nemesis lies buried... yet undead!
Evermoving onwards-through sombre pits and massive excess
Gaining perception through heart and skin

Time is it indeed-impenetrable...

Disguising euphemistically from us
What we value high...
Fate is wrapped in nocuous obscurity

"Discrete thoughts were forged in deceiving arrogance..."

Me-psychotic... Sculptor of thy stone-cold counterfeit
Me-dwelling naked in the dark...
Awakened the dormant enigma,
Drawing two lines in the sand,
Perceiving three thought-steps ahead!

In me, the all-forsaken living part of eternity!

Time is it indeed-impenetrable...

And hearken... for reverence died in silence
Invisible then,
The withered branches of my soul
Have turned evident, exposed...
For all to behold!

As relinquished remnants
Laying scattered in widest breadth
Kindred images declining...
What would betoken the astray d?bris of my life?

I linger on in the obscure miasma
As fear creeps up to me
I feel some shapeless threat to approach...
No way to avert the impending ruin?

Time is it indeed-impenetrable...

Disguising euphemistically from us
What we value high...
Fate is wrapped in nocuous obscurity

In me, the all-forsaken living part of eternity!

"And joys triumphant crowned these gentle days..."

Me-psychotic... Sculptor of thy stone-cold counterfeit
Me-dwelling naked in the dark...
Awakened the dormant enigma,
Drawing two lines in the sand,
Perceiving three thought-steps ahead!

Such, some dire event hangs o'er my troubled brow,
Some woeful thoughts I have to breed
In misery untold. O ne'er, ne'er
Was my foreboding mind distrest before
With such incessant grief

Hear, the dismal cry!

2. Miasmic Foreboding

No more arises my flooding morning star,
Laid down is its gleaming shine...
No more passing of my grief: the sombre night
Is all-universal before my eyes!

With myself in cruel secret that my heart conceived
An evergrowing creeping fear...
Formless, dimensionless-without substance

For earth, skies, sun and moon,
Constellations and seas as all paths and mountains,
Valleys, pastures and all bearing life or substance
Seem ill-disposed towards myself!

Wherefrom in untam'd Magnitude
Thrives the tidal yoke in malign prosperity?

O heavy-beloaded soul!
All this onerous grief's burden
Thou can'st not bear...
O heavy-beloaded soul!
All these impedances
Thou can'st not dare...

O fatal eclipse!
Why forc'd from the realms of Peace
Back to this world of Woe?

Which path to take?
To medicate the soul-tired and demoralized...

Where to seek instruction?

Help me...!
Save me...!

Can I dare... can I...?
To consult the obscure subject
Claiming to possess the second sight,
Claiming to perceive beyond the veils of fate?

No more arises my flooding morning star,
Laid down is its gleaming shine...
No more passing of my grief: the sombre night
Is all-universal before my eyes!

For earth, skies, sun and moon,
Constellations and seas as all paths and mountains,
Valleys, pastures and all bearing life or substance
Seem ill-disposed towards myself!

How to extoll these carking visions
Before my eyes?

What lurks on the morrow of this foreboding?

3. The Soul-Mirror Apparition

Alas! How mighty indeed the cruel barrier I see
Betwixt my inmost contentment and me!
Now Peace and I are strangers grown
I languish till my grief's seed is known...

When my stirred mind's tormented nature
Shall her pristine form regain?

To Fate I'll sue, of all other means bereft...
The only refuge for the wretched left!

Native of Fear, for of other feel
None can then Fear such ferocious dolour contain...
Ecliptic Fear-thine this universal frame!
As thou, Oh subterrean entity
Expand'st thy monumental wings
Before my pious awe

To Fate I'll sue, of all other means bereft...
The only refuge for the wretched left!
Yet, O hard onerous Fate!
Myself-now grotesquely reduc'd to seek the counsel
Of those I once abhorred!

But sweet as sudden sight to the blind,
Or obtained freedom to the slave,
The looming sombre shades of mind,
By my decrypted future shall be swept away!

Thus in the fatal depths of night,
Abandoned from all warmth of light,
The sightless horrid shape invoked,
By mastery of elder folk...

"What would'st thou...?"

...that by thy art thou bring'st me up my lot
Refuse me not thy aid in this distress!
Thy eyeless gaze pierces all shadows...
Reveal destiny before me!

"Fate lies deep concealed within,
And naught could'st thou do
Preventing what looms o'er thy path!"

Impious Fool! Of race accurs'd
And from all that race the worst!
Impious Fool! Instantly unveil my very fate
Or rid my presence of a sight I hate!

"Thou artful wretch!
Deep into thyself direct thy straining eyes,
And hence be taught, what in thy heart's depth lies!
Trapped in thy own captive dungeon, indeed,
For thou, an ignominious fate is decreed!
The spawns of thy conceptions all
Shall in one immense ruin fall!"

Faugh! No more, I'll hear no more...!

"Take for thyself, foolish subject,
Examine and dig with mind's chisel
Deep into unspoilt reason itself...
And thus find-truth...?"

4. A Desolate Spectaculum

Far-and yet all too near...
Augmenting as swift and turbulent streams
There arose a multitude of atomic thoughts
Bred for long within

For life itself in this momentum
Inhospitable appears and desolate,
Nor known by nor knowing me...

Shall I then part-hence whither wander down
Into a lower realm? Departure from this dwelling
In obscure Twilight to remain?

In lurking patience some uncouth cell
'Mongst horrid views and ebon shades
Hence vain deceiving joys
In unanswered decay to e'erforth dwell...
Hovering existence slowly drowned
In thick hideous dreams

For in a sad leaden downward cast
My dreams consumed all life at last

As swift and turbulent streams
There arose a multitude of atomic thoughts
Bred for long within

For in a sad leaden downward cast
My dreams consumed all life at last

To appear in spite of sorrows
And at the sight of heart-bleaking unlight
To bid for gentle morrows

Shall I then part-hence whither wander down
Into a lower realm? Departure from this dwelling
In obscure Twilight to remain?

As nightfall far too oft belies
The dawn's gentle promises-all
By appearing in many dreadful guises
It turns unrecognizable

As swift and turbulent streams
There arose a multitude of atomic thoughts
Bred for long within

Scion of despair-reason vanished like smoke
In longing for those whom I left behind...

In me the all-forsaken living part of eternity!

Inextricable web of elusive reflections
Bearing the cruel refractory reminiscence

To sorrow now... repent? Or pray?
The mystery still binding me-leave me not
In death's ashen dust.

5. Dwelling And Growing

Ye ruinous inhabitants of mental night,
Fade away!

Passion and reason-what strange alliance!
How many times in retrospectivity
Was I obliged to admit my own sightlessness?
Uncouth revulsion to escape from my selfish derangement
And mourning strange distress

For all delight was suffocated
In my mind's peculiar murkiness
Thus joyless flew the hours of light
Unpitied-led by this bestridden path
For pale and breathless my silhouette lies,
As a sad emblem of my mind's demise!
Lingering in the dark-driv'n out from gentle bliss
Lost in fathomless perdition
Aerie shapes-a feeble glimpse here and there
Like a single tear fallen into the ocean
Promising-yet delusive
My body tossed on a lonely shore
Beneath a pale full-orb'd moon
To remain forgotten everafter
Alienate from heav'n-with spirit accurst,
Forsak'n of all belief...
A mistrustful and corrosive metamorphosis
To Apostasy!

Ye ruinous inhabitants of mental night,
Fade away!

Passion and reason-what strange alliance!
How many times in retrospectivity
Was I obliged to admit my own sightlessness?
Uncouth revulsion to escape from my selfish derangement
And mourning strange distress

6. And Harvest Has Come

"O lamentable foolish subject! O Horrible dreadful state!
How many demons reside in this but human breast?"

Me, who didn't perceive the departure of "I",
Who didn't behold the horrific array
Now truly am beyond any help
Seeding delusive hope,
Yet harvesting but mere ruin
And harvest has come...

By linear degrees I beheld and realised
The infinite Abyss
The seed-adolescent doubt within
Now grown enormously
To seek for the thousandfold
Nature of this immense inner unlight

And thus I leave this state...
Still engulfed by decay
To drape my naked soul,
To close my bleeding wounds

Disciple of prophetic articulation,
Autonome – yet descendant of the forcast
Seeker I am – nearly drowned in his quest
Remain yet blinded, deafened... All I perceive is amorph and abstract

"O lamentable foolish subject! O Horrible dreadful state!
Conquered by the grand foe within:
Formless and unknown 'til thy revolt"

Me, who didn't perceive the departure of "I",
Who didn't behold the horrific array
Now truly am beyond any help
Seeding delusive hope,
Yet harvesting but mere ruin
And harvest has come...

7. By The Altar Of Reflection

My rage has drove away?
Decent to substitute the soar
The ethereal delight of life
Pervert to utmost woe

Should it be blood that must atone,
Take, oh take my life alone!
For from this sad descent
Newborn virtues shall arise

To heal these scars
Engendered by my proper habitus
And to render these torments (seemingly)
More bearable to the soul

Short was my way, fair, smooth and plain,
To let all easy pleasures reign!
Enjoying the sweet elysian grove,
The host of pleasure, seat of love
Embath'd in bliss and wrapt in ease,
Carelessness seemed to never cease?

O, narcotic dependence!

Yet as an eerie mosaic
Festered in amongst all happiness
The bane of my peace
And genuine author of my shame!

But how trivial seem a human's profane concerns
When a whole kind bleeds, and grov'ling lies,
Panting for liberty and life?

I'd have sung in nocturnal notes
Of my inner labyrinth-dark and deep
Of the void amorph infinite?
A sad frozen lament
Of nature's ancestors? Khaos and its purest spawn:
Dim night and her all-universal eldest darkness!

My rage has drove away?
Decent to substitute the soar
The ethereal delight of life
Pervert?

Should it be blood that must atone,
Take, oh take my life alone!
For from this sad descent
Newborn virtues shall arise

Thus letting this sinister reflection
Take an expansive ride
Into the all too perilous pit

I remain? Unmourned
Yet wheatherbeaten? And alone

I'd have sung in nocturnal notes
Of my inner labyrinth-dark and deep
Of the void amorph infinite?
A sad frozen lament
Of nature's ancestors? Khaos and its purest spawn:
Dim night and her all-universal eldest darkness!

8. For The Sightless To Behold

Who am I? Dehumanized alias on trial,
Reflected through tragic obsessive pasts,
Obliterated from public perception
Yet descent to a victim of derision!

Wretched fallen that i am-how low,
From joyous ease to desponding woe?
Vouchsafe to me thy restless gaze?
Forgive the fear-drawn words i lost
When the eye's raging fury
Too plainly show'd the tempest of the soul?

Gaze, sightless, gaze upon me
Descent into deep despair
Behold a wretched man
Thrown from the very summit of presumptuous joys,
Down to the lowest depth of misery?

'How art thou fallen from thy height!
Haughty, when of pow'r possess'd,
Now thou tremblest, when distress'd?
And did I not foretel thy fate,
To mourn thy beauty lost
Hath not thy proper deed and thought
Invok'd the dreadful blight of mind

Misery? Marks my day
Fading away?
Misery? Marks my day
Fading away?

I've been fighting again on my own
In vain I've tried holding domion
Upon my very self

From joyous ease to desponding woe?
Vouchsafe to me thy restless gaze?
Forgive the fear-drawn words i lost
When the eye's raging fury
Too plainly show'd the tempest of the soul?

As will and reason? Faith or love,
Of their freedom all despoil'd!
To plunge 'Em deeply underneath
A forgetful ocean's black polished surface?
No! With utter vehemence
Pushing forth my own revolt
Towards my new-erected inner world!
An entire paradigma ruined and torn apart?
Yet regardless? Dehumanized
Of what we are and were

Can foreknowledge e'er bear an influence
On a human's imminent fault?
Free human in liberated judgement, thought and nature
Free genuine author to myself in all!
And free I must remain?

Who am I? Dehumanized alias on trial,
Reflected through tragic obsessive pasts?

Wretched fallen that i am-how low,
From joyous ease to desponding woe?

Vouchsafe to me thy restless gaze?
Forgive the fear-drawn words i lost
When the eye's raging fury
Too plainly show'd the tempest of the soul?

Gaze, sightless, gaze upon me
Descent into deep despair
Behold a wretched man?